What speed are you at?
There is no surprise that I was listening to The 1000 Hours Outside podcast and had an epiphany. This podcast always speaks life and truth into my day, and I am always so thankful I chose to listen in when I did.
The episode was with the amazing momma to 7, author, speaker, a Myers Briggs personality types expert, and homeschooling mom LaNissir James. Besides sharing her joy that you could feel through the screen, she reminded me of something as I've been struggling these last few weeks.
At the end of September, I was fortunate enough to get away with my husband while he was on a work trip. It was such a great time away from mom life, homeschooling mom, and all of the daily tasks to keep the house and family afloat. When we returned, it was a huge struggle. My boys fought me with their school work. I lacked motivation to get our daily schedule together and to do's done. I wasn't meal prepping which helps us eat better and not waste money. All of the things were not getting done, and I felt lazy, undisciplined, and like I was missing the mark.
Luckily, this week, we seem to be finding our footing, and slowly getting back into our normal routines. But I am still feeling those feelings of missing the mark. Maybe it is because I know what kids are doing in school in October, and maybe my own kids aren't at that point yet. Maybe it's because I see others knocking their businesses out of the park, setting boundaries, and making time for what's important to them, and currently i'm not.
Whatever it is, I am sure you've been in this same spot. Maybe currently, or in the past, or you don't know it yet, but you are about to be there soon. When LaNissir mentioned this quote below, I stopped and felt a sense of relief.
What a relief it was to hear this today. To be reminded that my family is moving at it's own speed and that's ok. Accept it. Find joy in it, and try not to compare (this is easier said than done).
This week I found myself comparing what other homeschooling families are working on, or kids that seem to know more than my boys and feeling like we're behind. Feeling that I am not hitting the mark each day. I would rarely compare when I taught in public school, but now that I am solely in charge of both children's education journey, and trying to create a different path for us, I am comparing more than ever. I look back at my goals and vision I made this summer for homeschooling, and don't see us there yet. I see us trying to find our footing, and some days attaining it and most days falling short.
Whether you're in this same season or moment like I am, don't we all eventually feel this missing the mark feeling? When LaNissir mentioned the speed of your family, I was reminded of why I took this year off and began homeschooling. I wanted a year to breath, to be more intentional with my boys. To work on self-regulation and our emotional health. I wanted to take away a huge stress, my job, so I could focus my energy on other exciting endeavors.
So when I felt this sense of relief today, I was beautifully reminded that this is the speed we're at. We're at this speed for many reasons, and we chose to be here. We are choosing to slow down. We are choosing to take a relaxed homeschooling journey this year. We are focusing more on experiences, finding joy in our learning, and time together. What we've chosen goes against what our culture wants. Our culture pushes us to be stressed and working 40 hours+ a week, running here and there and everywhere. We feel the pressure to do it all and pack our schedules full.
So as I sit here and ponder, and sadly compare, I am reminded that whatever our lives look like, that is our choice. Nothing is better or the "right" way. It's what is right for you and your family. It is the speed of your family. The speed you are living in in this season of life. Possibly even a speed you're not excited about. Instead of feeling less than, embrace your speed. Find joy in it.
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